A Southern Siri


My husband, Kevin, is Mr. GPS. He effortlessly navigates roads across the country. This includes those he’s never been on before. I would say he never asks for directions, but he has access to an iPhone mistress, um, application called “Siri”. She informs him of the nearest everything, and directions how to get there, and tells no one he even asked. I could learn from her.

We were in upstate NY and VT and we used Siri for days. The only problem was the sporadic satellite coverage. We took a photo of the directions so when we couldn’t access Siri, and Mr. GPS asked me (perpetually lost aspiring travel writer) for the next direction, we could continue trekking.

In uncharted territory, in our car with the AL license plate, Kevin second guessed Siri many times and kept pressing her system for a shorter route to our various destinations.

With too many corn and sheep pastures to pass the time, I began to wonder how Siri would respond were she Southern…

Kevin: “Siri, can you give me directions to upstate NY?

Siri: “Let me find them for you swee. tee.”

Kevin: “Please reroute these directions.”

Siri: “No problem swee. tee.”

Kevin: “Siri, I need the nearest rocking chair and some sweet tea.”

Siri: “Your nearest rocking chair is .05 miles. Can I get the sweet tea for you swee. tee?”

I’m quite sure if I could be more like a Southern Siri, I would knock out any future marital therapy sessions before they start. She’s absolutely brilliant: just tell him what he wants to hear in the way he wants to hear it. Of course, the Siri on my iPhone sounds like a butler from England, so fair is fair.

Next post, we’re going to try Mr. GPS handling a  Yankee Siri. 🙂